Alone – Friday Fictioneers – 2/15/13

Copyright David Stewart

Copyright David Stewart

There is fiction afoot! The roving band of fiction lovers known as the Friday Fictioneers returns for another curtain call. We love the chase of writing about scenes from around the world. This week’s prompt is based on a statue from Korea, supplied by David Stewart. I hesitated for a moment with this prompt, but decided to follow on the prompt from last week, Coming Home, which I chose to be about a returning veteran. I encourage you to re-read that post if this one makes no sense.

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Genre: Realistic Fiction

No one knows how it is to be a vet.

Even when home pieces of you remain away. Part of me is behind in Korea where I served before Afghanistan. I remember this sculpture of a man alone. It is kind of how I feel now. I got off the plane last week and re-inserted myself with my family, yet I am still alone.

Just like I was when the Humvee exploded. At least in Korea I had Su Lee. She was the best thing about my two years in the country. If only she could come to the states.
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About Joe Owens

Can you tell from my writing I love God? I hope so because that is what I want you to know most about me. I am also a writer who loves taking on fiction prompts and crafting a story. One day you will read my work in print. Until then enjoy it here! For free!
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16 Responses to Alone – Friday Fictioneers – 2/15/13

  1. kz says:

    very sad. very moving. great job on this extremely difficult prompt

  2. Dear Joe,
    A lot has been said already so I’ll simply say that I enjoyed your story. Your vet seems pretty well adjusted, all things considered. Nice one.
    shalom,
    Rochelle

  3. in fiction we writers use voices that aren’t our own. we have to. I believe it’s the only way we who our characters are and what they are capable of doing. I have been a five year old girl, and an eighty year old man. I have hijacked a car and run bootleg whiskey through the mountains of West Virginia. Write on Joe, your story has merit. Your character has life.

  4. Sheila says:

    The voice sounds like it belongs to someone who’s been castoff – very sad and nicely done. I really like the sentence, “I got off the plane last week and re-inserted myself with my family, yet I am still alone.”

  5. I took your first line as an inner thought of your character. I think that we can imagine what it’s like to be a vet as well as we can imagine what it’s like to be any other character we write about. The object is to portray the feelings in 100 words. Mission accomplished.

  6. Sandra says:

    A real sense of isolation and detachment came through. Nicely done.

  7. That is how I feel: I won’t be completely at home anywhere and when I finally move back, part of me will stay here.

  8. nightlake says:

    speaks of loneliness..moving

  9. “Re-inserted myself with my family.” That seemed so true to me–slotting yourself back into a place where you used to fit but no longer do, at least not in the same ways and same roles. The idea of leaving pieces behind where you served is also a well-chosen image.

    I’m not so keen on the opening sentence, although it might be written that way because that’s how he felt. What about all the other vets he knows? They would know. “No one who hasn’t served knows what it’s like to be a vet.” “Most people don’t know what it’s like to be a vet.” I only suggest that from my side of the story. You may have had something else in mind, such as his own feelings.

    janet

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