Speakeasy 150 – Looking In the Black Hole

This week’s sentence prompt, provided by last week’s winner, Karenmust be used as the LAST line in your piece. The media prompt is a neat short film I stumbled across, over at Future Shorts on YouTube. It’s called The Black Hole and was directed by Philip Sansom and Olly Williams.

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Suzie was a dreamer. That was the first thing her mother would tell anyone who came along and asked her to describe her daughter. It was an admirable trait when she was younger, her mother would admit, because it meant she did not corral the possibilities for her life. Her scope of possible ambitions was as wide as the Kansas horizon where she called home.

It was not unheard of for Suzie to spend entire days walking through the wheat fields surrounding her home just taking in the breadth and depth of the beauty God provided. Some called her a nature girl, which could be an insult, but Suzie cared none about others assessment. She was confident in her own skin, knowing she was just what she wanted to be, free to choose her own path.

For eighteen years she did just that, loving her freedom and ability to choose her direction. But one day all of that changed when a handsome stranger stepped off a Greyhound bus from California to New York. He had an olive green duffel bag slung over his shoulder, a khaki cap on his head and a crisp uniform that telegraphed to everyone he was property of Uncle Sam.

He chose the only diner in their small town where Suzie worked as a waitress and slid easily into a booth where he took the menu and began to weed out the possibilities. Suzie barely noticed him enter the diner and approached without fanfare to do her required routine. But it was those eyes that changed the calculus. Those piercing blue eyes sent a wave of excitement through her that unsettled her so that she forgot to say something, anything to him when he looked up.

“Hello,” he said breaking the silence.

“Ahem,” Suzie squeaked out. She cleared her throat and nodded at the menu.

“Is it possible to get breakfast this late?” he asked. His voice was smooth and confident, filling her with warmth she found oddly comforting, even though she really couldn’t say why.

Certainly,” She told him.

“Three scrambled, bacon and sausage, biscuit and gravy, with juice and milk.” He closed the menu and returned it to its place as Suzie stood and admired his movement. She suddenly realized he was looking at her and her pen had still not made the first mark on her order pad.

“Three scrambled, bacon, sausage, biscuit and gravy, juice and milk, got it,” she said and turned to leave. She did not see the smile she left him with, because she realized she was embarrassing herself. From the safety of the front counter she stole looks his way, watching him as he took in the atmosphere of the diner.

“He is a handsome one,” Gertie announced. She was the co-owner with her husband Carmine.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess.”

“You guess. Honey I might have to give you a bib if you drool any more.”

“I’m not drooling,” Suzie replied.

“I don’t blame you, he certainly is drool worthy. Look at those broad shoulders, the hair and those . . .”

“Eyes,” Suzie said.

“Yes, those beautiful eyes. It was Carmine’s eyes that I fell in love with. He was so kind and it came through his eyes.”

“I think I could get lost in those eyes,” Suzie whispered. “They look as deep as a black hole in space.”

“Uh-oh.”

“What?”

“Nothing honey, I think you should go back over there and talk to him.”

“I am sure he is only passing through. I won’t get involved with someone if they aren’t going to be here.”

“You won’t know unless you ask,” Gertie told her.

Suzie found herself in a very unfamiliar position. All these years of being in control and knowing what she wanted seemed as far away as those black holes of space she found so mesmerizing in science class. Now she had a choice to make and was not at all comfortable with the best way to proceed. She waited for someone to tell her what to do next.

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About Joe Owens

Can you tell from my writing I love God? I hope so because that is what I want you to know most about me. I am also a writer who loves taking on fiction prompts and crafting a story. One day you will read my work in print. Until then enjoy it here! For free!
This entry was posted in Blogging Challenge, Fiction, Speakeasy, Writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Speakeasy 150 – Looking In the Black Hole

  1. Rajlakshmi says:

    That’s a beautiful story 🙂 I hope she listens to her heart. Loved the smooth narration.

  2. I really hope this has a happily ever after ending!
    loved it 🙂

  3. Nicely done. Love the dialogues and the descriptions- I hope Suzie makes the right decision, whatever that might be 🙂

  4. jenbrunett says:

    This was written really well! I hope their relationship works!

  5. Suzanne says:

    This is great, Joe! I love your description of Suzie – she felt really well-formed. And I love her reaction to him as well as her inner battle about that reaction. 🙂

  6. atrm61 says:

    Oh,I do hope she will listen to her sensible self and not get involved with someone who won’t stay for I have a bad feeling about those eyes which look like black holes in space-shiver!

    An interesting read and I agree with EA,loved the dialogues:-)

  7. Kynna says:

    I’ve found myself in a similar position as her in the past, I hope she ended up happy whether it was with or without him.

  8. EagleAye says:

    I love her reactions to him, and the dialog between her and the other waitress. I got a real kick out of reading this enjoyable piece. 🙂

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