Sometimes when you see a picture you can easily get stuck on the first idea. I think this one surpasses that a bit. I hope you get the Hawaii Five-O reference! Thanks to Rochelle for hosting and John Nixon for the picture this time.
Fiction (98 words)
“Mr. Wintersham I cannot thank you enough. Since you have been monitoring our shop the loss is non-existent.”
“Well, you know how it is. Folks see an old man with a cane and they think he is infirm.”
“I love the way you hook their ankle with it and flip them on their back!”
“It is a trick I learned long ago,” Wintersham replied as he twirled the cane in the air.
“You are appreciated,” the store owner said.
“No problem. Besides I have my eye on that looker in the window. She is playing hard to get!”
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I liked it before the ending. Now I love it!
Seconding the contractural comments, so to speak. The conversation sounds stilted as written. Keep up the good work.
That’s a great guard to have – but I think he’s getting his hope up a little high on rewards
Clever use of a cane — the hook isn’t just for pulling lame actors off stage any more. Danno, good luck with the looker in the window — you’re gonna need it!
haha never underestimate a guy with a cane 🙂 good one
Maybe he’ll attempt to hook her by the ankle before long.
I agree with Jennifer about the contractions, but apart from that, nice take on the prompt.