‎1/9/13-Daily Prompt-Scribbler’s Writing Contest

Note: This is my response to the Daily Prompt for 1/9/2013 of the Scribbler’s January Writing Contest. Please read and comment, telling me what you think!

An out-of-body experience,…

Today’s genre is fantasy

Floating was always a dream of his. Even in the local swimming pool, he could just bob along for hours with no need to kick or splash. He was always aggravating the paid staff of lifeguards who thought something might be wrong with him. It was only after repeated events where a lifeguard unfamiliar with this habits would jump in to “save” him that he finally got the chance to float “unfettered.”

The car crash that “freed” him to take this journey was the topic of coverage on the local television station news report. The sober toned anchorman stared into the camera as he gave the facts of the moment as they knew them. Jarred Sullins, a college sophomore had slid out of a curve, striking a bridge abutment and landing himself in surgery at the local hospital.

The floating was quite a surreal experience in this short life. Jarred was not a drinker, nor had he ever experienced any kind of effect of drugs. He could recount one instance where some pain medicine had made him so loopy he was sent to bed to “sleep it off”. But this was different. He looked below to see a bright light shining down, illuminating his broken body as half a dozen medical professionals worked feverishly to make a difference.

Jarred looked at the shell, searching for the face he knew so well. It had no expression at all, simply reflecting what he guessed was a peaceful feeling. He wondered how that could be with all the activity by the surgical crew. The sheer quantity of blood soaked sponges told a tale of widespread damage he might not survive.

As he continued his aerial circuit of the room, he could hear the tension in the doctor’s voice while he continued to inventory the depth of the injuries.

“The spleen is ruptured, bruised kidney, shattered femur, pulverized forearms. This kid is ruined.”

“What do you want to do doctor?” a nurse questioned.

The older man looked the young man from head to toe without speaking. From above, Jarred waited impatiently for his response.

“Come on doc! Tell them you want to save me!”

“Doctor Turner,” the nurse spoke again, trying to jar the doctor’s attention back.

“Doc, I am still here!” Jarred screamed into the air, unheard by all.The enxt sound in the room was a heavy, resigned sigh from the doctor. He knew the truth as did the others staring into the broken body before them. Only he could make the decision and end the effort.

“Time of death…”

“No,”  Jarred screamed. “I am still here. You can’t stop!”

“..fourteen thirteen,” The doctor finished. With his words all the others turned away from the table, tugging masks from their faces, then peeling the latex gloves off to dispose in the biological hazard bins.




About Joe Owens

Can you tell from my writing I love God? I hope so because that is what I want you to know most about me. I am also a writer who loves taking on fiction prompts and crafting a story. One day you will read my work in print. Until then enjoy it here! For free!
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2 Responses to ‎1/9/13-Daily Prompt-Scribbler’s Writing Contest

  1. sarahneeve says:

    Good story, left me wondering what happened to Jarred. Not sure I’d class it as fantasy, though. But hey, take that with a pinch of salt, I’m not a big fantasy reader. 🙂

    • djmatticus says:

      I was thinking the same thing… it wasn’t the “fantasy” I was expecting at the beginning; but perhaps based on a differing view of the world it could still be considered fantasy. It’s about perspective.

      Joe – I agree with Sarah on the rest of her points as well: good story and I’d love to know what happened to Jarred next. Was he free to float about? Was he tethered to his body somehow? Or, with the pronouncement did he fade away, giving the doctor’s role even more power than we normally give them? (Now that could be an interesting fantasy twist on the story.)

So you took time to read what I wrote and I appreciate it, but comments are even better!

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